Things i dislike right now

1. Soccer moms + cell phones + driving. Every near death experience ive ever had on my motorcycle has been at the hands of this volatile combination. Odd how you can take three things that are pretty awesome on their own, put them together, …and almost die. Could you please get off the phone long enough to realize that you almost just fucking killed me?

2. Youth Pastors. Not all of them, just the ones who are more concerned with being Hip, and cool than they are with being a man.

3. Hybrid cars. I dont hate the idea per se, but why do hybrid cars have to look like a …hybrid car. Its like its more a a fashion statement for treehuggers. “Im going to drive this ugly fucking car because i love the environment more than ANYTHING!” I really dont want to drive something that looks like it should be weaving down an alley in europe somewhere. Its not that i dont care about the earth, its that hybrid cars look like ass. Why cant they make a hybrid that looks like a 58 Impala?

4. Political pundits. No. One. Cares. About. What. You. Think. Also, Get Fucked.

5. Pop music industry. Guess what. Britney blows and she always has.

6. Modern country music. I want to YAK every time i see a fiddle player in leather pants. Oh, and tim mgcraw, your buddy kenny chesney doesnt count as “the cowboy in me”. Honky Tonk Badonkadonk?? Cowboy hats, crunk cups and fur pimp coats?? Tom Petty hit it right when he said country groups now are just bad rock bands with a fiddle. I wish George Jones and Merle Haggard would get on the sauce and KICK YOUR FUCKING ASSES.

7. Rain. Yeah i know its “important”, but im trying to ride my motorcycle, and rain hurts at 60 MPH. So for that Mother Nature, Fuck you.

8. Smart ass college kids. You might be attending university, but youre still a fucking child. And you dont know shit about shit. You would sound alot more intelligent with your mouth firmly closed.

9. Tom Cruise. I thought you were really cool when i was a kid, and you were in Top Gun flying F14s around. I didnt even mind when goose got killed because of you. How did you go from feeling the need for speed, to being the scientology version of Jerry Fallwell? I hate you.

10. Hillary Clinton. You are a lying, cheating, opportunistic whore. Your birth is proof that some people just shouldnt be allowed to fuck. How stupid do you think people are? You cant just make outrageous shit up because it sounds good. Thats not called mis-speaking…..its called a fucking lie and you know it.