Fad Diets. I can never figure them out, first its no carbs on the Atkins diet, then its the south beach diet, then Dr phils book even though he isnt thin. Yet somehow with all this dieting "technology"....americans are more obese now than ever. So im kinda starting to think that all this dieting and nutrition and no carb talk is really a bunch of bull shit. Actually i know it is. Do you remember the little nutrition pyramid from health class? The one thats been around since like 1898 when people were not by and large a bunch of lazy, entitled, fat fucks? Here let me refresh your memory....it looks like this......
HOLY SHIT!....look right there at the bottom....CARBS! OH my god this cannot be right. Obviously the FDA was mistaken.....i mean just look at how unhealthy people were before they had the knowledge of nutrition that we do now 
Wanna know the truth? You arent fat because you eat too many carbs, or you have a thyroid problem, or metabolism issues. Youre obese because you sit on your fucking fat ass all day and play xbox, or watch oprah, or whatever the fuck you can think of to avoid having to physically exert yourself. Kids back then werent fat because they were outside playing, having stick fights, climbing trees, riding bikes, exploring the neiborhood, throwing rocks or dirt clods or cow shit at each other, instead of sitting in front of the fucking hi def getting gayulated by hannah montana or some other retarded bullshit. If they did spend some time in front of the tube, they were probably watching the lone ranger and tonto fuck some shit up, or if they are a little more recent, watching transformers battle decepticon, or gi joes fighting cobra, or one of a hundred other shows that today would do doubt come under fire for not being educational. But ill beg to differ on that one as well. yeah dora the explorer might teach your kid some fucking spanish, but who gives a rats fucking ass. They also have a character on that show called swiper. Wanna know what he does? He constantly steals shit! Yet no one ever does any kind of battle with the thieving little bastard. Nope, they let him steal whatever the fuck he wants, then have to stop whatever they were doing to find it again, all the while yelling "no swiper, no" What kind of lesson is that? Clearly he isnt moved my their non offensive, PC drivel, cause he still takes any fucking thing he pleases, and knows dora and her monkey wont do shit about it. See, Gi joes, transformers, and all those shows taught something that all the PBS and other shit never will. Good and evil. Right and wrong. Sometimes, you gotta stand up for the right thing, even it it means you might get hurt, or shot at with lasers.
"No, Megatron, No!"
Probably more effective when youre arm is a HUGE FUCKING CANNON
Well, alot has been accomplished today. I have single-handedly solved why americans are growing up to be both fat, and pussies. Ill just sit here and wait for my nobel prize.
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